The reason behind the "Random Time Period" portion of this feature's "Prurient News Story of the Random Time Period" name should now be obvious.  One just never knows when one of these stories will pop up and at times they fly fast and furious. 

Story: Anna Nicole Smith, a woman single-handedly responsible for spawning, quite literally, the most astonishing string of luridly prurient news stories of the past decade and beyond, caps off her illustrious PNS career by turning up dead for no readily apparent cause in a hotel room in Florida (well known as the most prurient state within which to croak).

Primary Emotional Response: Train wreck fascination mixed with revulsion plus a side of the smug pity felt by the dysfunctional but not THAT dysfunctional, thank god.

Salient Details: Fresh off a particularly productive year of PNS's, including birth, death and lawsuits galore, Anna Nicole checks into a casino hotel in Florida, is seen by staff behaving in a "plastered" fashion, and is later discovered dead in her hotel room bed by her "personal nurse".  Attempts to revive her fail.  Vomit may or may not have been involved and present, along with sketchy mixes of prescription drugs and alcohol.  She may or may not have been found in bed naked with a sheet over her head, in a last ditch desperate attempt to associate herself once and for all with Marilyn Monroe.


You Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If You Tried:
Her almost-husband's name is Howard Stern.  But not THAT Howard Stern.  Darn.
A judge has ordered Anna's body be "preserved" to facilitate *paternity* testing.  Apparently this makes sense in scientific circles, and does not indicate that someone thinks Anna is in reality the baby's father in some sort of bizarre trans plot twist. 
Rumors are now flying that baby Dannielynn is actually the product of an incestous relationship between Anna Nicole and her dead son.
A dispute over the ownership of the mansion she was living in prior to her death with her daughter and not-really her husband and only-tentatively the baby's father (as he is only one of three contenders with a horse in that race at the moment) has already caused the locks on the mansion to be changed twice in the last few days.
Since her billionaire dead first husband's son is also taking the long dirt nap these days, the battle over his fortune will now revert to a five month old infant and those fortunate enough to share sufficient DNA with her, and the widow of the dead son. 


The One That Causes Us to Pause Ever So Briefly in the Midst of Our Rabid Prurient Twittering: That poor, innocent little baby girl.

Ultimate Winners: A slew of the worst breed of lawyers imaginable, plus the lucky guy whose boys actually did swim the fastest.  And finally, the American public, sure to feast avidly on rumor, innuendo and facts that make them pale in comparison for years to come.

Thanks for the mammaries, Anna.